Protect Your Children from Your Narcissistic Spouse

The above title is much easier said than done. I have had a number of communications with spouses particularly women (male narcissists still outnumber female narcissists) who are married to narcissistic men and are terrified that their children are becoming narcissistic as a result of being partially raised by a narcissist. In some instances, particularly if the child is now in early adulthood, it has become evident that he or she has many of the characterlogical traits of the narcissistic parent: lack of empathy, self absorption, extreme self entitlement, selfishness, a craving and drive to win despite the consequences to others, including family members. I am speaking about this because some of those who will be reading this post have younger children or plan to have children with a man or woman whom they know is a narcissist. If this is true about what you now know about your partner, think carefully about pursuing a marriage to a person who will adversely affect the character and entire life experience of your child.
In the news every day we watch the dramas played out by famous narcissists---sports figures, entertainers, politicians, business magnates--acting out in sex scandals, money schemes and all matter of human debacle. There is a clear difference and point of decision for those who are part of the narcissistic couple who have children and the ones who don't. I hear too often the cry: what am I going to do now? "My child has sided with my narcissistic husband and won't communicate with me." My daughter says: "Life is easier with him. He doesn't boss me around and try to control me. He spends a lot of time with his girlfriends and let's me do what I want." What kind of upbringing is this? When children enter the picture, life changes forever. We can make decisions now about whether to have children or not. This has been true for a number of decades. Some spouses of narcissists are not aware of their partner's severe personality disorder until they have children. Many spouses blame the budding narcissistic traits of their children on themselves.
This is a complex matter. The first step is to inform yourself fully about the narcissistic personality disorder whether you are married or unmarried, have children or don't. Then you will understand who and what you are dealing with when you encounter one of these individuals. For detailed information and support, read my blog, listen to my podcasts (blog.thenarcissistinyourlife.com) and visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Posted by LindaMartinezLewi