The Narcissistic Couple-What a Match

At this time of maximum societal narcissism, we frequently encounter the narcissistic power couple. They inhabit enviable images--beauty, handsomeness, monetary,societal and worldly power. They appear on every stage: politics, entertainment, high tech, philanthropy, the arts, biotech, medicine, law. Narcissistic couples at their peak are sought after by those who crave to be part of their privileged circle. Many of these narcissistic individuals are highly educated, scientifically talented, entrepreneurs and prominent business leaders. The high level narcissist (who today is usually a man although high level narcissistic women are becoming more prevalent) chooses a mate who shares his goals and values. This is the "perfect couple" from a narcissistic perspective. By design these two narcissists join forces with their extreme grandiosity, displays of superiority and feelings of entitlement to climb the heights of power and influence together. The image that they create as a couple is essential to their success. The most common scenario is for a high level male narcissist to marry a lower level narcissistic spouse who mirrors his perfection at the same time that she enjoys all of the narcissistic supplies that flow through her mate. She shares his opulent lifestyle. For a narcissistic spouse, the opportunity to life at such a heady level is irresistible. The female spouse believes that in sharing the limelight with her partner, she is as powerful as he. Followers of the narcissistic couple treat these individuals as rarefied beings. With their acquiescent and worshipful attitudes and behaviors, they are saying that this couple is set aside from other human beings and deserve to be treated like royalty. The underside of this narcissistic coupling is the reverse of the cleverly designed outer package. The dominant narcissistic partner believes and acts as it he owns his mate. She is his possession and cannot take a step without his approval. Often the high level narcissistic engages in myriad acts of infidelity (This is part of his lifestyle). As a concession to his lower level narcissistic spouse, he offers monetary and expensive acquisitions to keep her quiet and to retain the image of a perfect union. The narcissistic female spouse does not possess the high level of over-confidence and self entitlement of her mate. As a result she gets her ego needs met through the rewards that flow through the narcissistic husband. This gender difference is reversed when we are dealing with a high level female narcissistic spouse. The ranks of high level female narcissists are growing. The underside of the relationship of the narcissistic couple is ugly, ruthless, parasitic, often treacherous. The lower level narcissistic spouse in some cases demands large sums of money and platinum card life style access in exchange for ignoring her husband's countless affairs and peccadilloes. A deal is struck: " In exchange for your silence and continued support of our impeccable and powerful public image, I am giving you the sum of ----------dollars (stocks, property, gems are included in the deal) to fulfill your obligation to me to be discreet and loyal. For many narcissistic spouses under the yoke of the high level narcissistic spouse, this is the key to remaining in the "relationship." Some narcissistic couples hold their "deals" together. In other instances the high level narcissist discards his partner and acquires a youthful (often several decades younger than himself), physically gorgeous, socially and financially connected woman with whom he can pursue even headier reaches of limitless power, wealth and business and social influence. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.Telephone ConsultationEmail: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Posted by LindaMartinezLewi